#2: How I Discovered I'm An Enneagram 4
I’ve always wanted to feel like I belong—but not at the cost of losing myself.
I’ve always wanted to feel like I belong—but not at the cost of losing myself.
It was late spring, and we were driving to a campground in the mountains of Colorado. The dirt road was littered with potholes and boulders, and I had to turn the volume up to hear the podcast host. “Listen, listen!” I exclaimed to my husband, dust enveloping our car as we crawled deeper into the forest. I knew the episode by heart at that point, but I wanted him to hear it too. I wanted a witness for the words that had changed me and made me feel seen:
Enneagram 4s desire to feel truly known. They want to belong. Yet, they also fear being ordinary or insignificant. Much of their life is a great paradox: They long to be invited to the party, but they also dread the idea of going. For 4s, life can feel like living with your nose pressed against the glass, wondering, “Will they ever see the real me?”
I’m paraphrasing here, but much of the interview was about this longing that exists inside Enneagram 4s. I hadn’t…
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